So I went to a family reunion in Texas.

Texas.

My entire family is just basically a bunch of rednecks from various places in the south that constantly say "y'all" and "ain't"

So, my cousin Carly decides it's a wonderful idea to steal from the gas station down the street.
I hate this girl with a passion, believe me. It's almost as bad as my hate for Twilight, Poser Emo and Black History Month.
I go along for lack of nothing better to do.
So, after years of being dragged along on ridiculous journeys with Carly, I decided it was my time to shine. I see the perfect opportunity when a cop pulls into the gas station.
I alert the cop of Carly's intent to steal certain products that you must be aged 21 years to buy.
This kind policeman goes inside and comes out with Carly, puts her in the car and sends her down to a small-town Texas sheriff's department holding cell.

Mission accomplished.
Carly spent a few hours sitting around with the sheriff while my fat ass of an aunt goes to pick her up.

As a certain Mr. Norton once said in a very good film, I just may stalk from house to house with an Armalite AR-10 carbine gas-powered semi-automatic weapon, pumping round after round into hicks all over the south.

Or something like that.

Also, my list of cool people continues to grow.

thatoneguyfromDD
TheSilverGuitar
RedStripedd
DBM
Proottalfain